Cleaning Under the Rug

It's a look, it's a tone, it's certain words that brings me right back to that little girl. The torn and hurt little girl masked with a smile. That was worth so much more. For she deserved so much more. She deserved the love that a parent is supposed to give a child, a hug before bed, being told she is loved more than just a handful of times. So many fights and so many tears all because she wanted more. Where was her father? That remains the question, oh he was there. But really where was he because even when he was home it still felt like he wasn't there. Now this little girl is an adult and is left to sort through so much of what is the past.

And I realize that there is forgiveness that needs to take place on my end so I can move forward in my relationship with God and with others. It's time to let go, and let God have all of the insecurities that I feel. He is my Father, my Heavenly Father. Yes I did not have a good example, and I realize for everything my earthly father lacked my heavenly father has for me. He loves me unconditionally and will never leave me or forsake me! And I can forgive, because he has forgiven me.

I am to deal with the past so I can move on in the Future....otherwise it will be something that always holds me back. I can no longer sweep in under the rug like it doesn't exist.

Isaiah 54:10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.